


The Absolute Worst

by alfing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Field Trip, Gen, Humor, Identity Reveal, Mild Language, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:27:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15898122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alfing/pseuds/alfing
Summary: Fun fact: Flash Thompson is the worst.Actually, that fact was not at all fun, but it was true. Peter Parker had no idea how people like Flash were capable of being giant jerks all of the time. It was like the concept of basic human decency was completely foreign to them, even if it was a universal thing.To provide some context to this, it all started when it was announced they were going on a field trip.(jumping on the field trip bandwagon)





	The Absolute Worst

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so ig they have both the avengers compound and stark tower so whatever

Fun fact: Flash Thompson is the worst. 

Actually, that fact was not at all fun, but it was true. Peter Parker had no idea how people like Flash were capable of being giant jerks all of the time. It was like the concept of basic human decency was completely foreign to them, even if it was a universal thing. 

To provide some context to this, it all started when it was announced they were going on a field trip. 

It is common to believe that a field trip would be a time for fun, a break from the stuffy classrooms and the monotonous droning of their teachers. It was supposed to be that way. And I guess it sort of was that way for some. But not for Peter. No, not for him because of all the places they had to visit, it had to be  _ Stark Industries _ . 

Before getting to know  _ the _ Tony Stark personally, Peter would have been ecstatic for such an opportunity. But now that he's sort of an Avenger and also Tony’s intern, he didn't want to risk his identity being exposed. He considered convincing Aunt May to let him stay home the day of the trip. Maybe he could “lose” his permission slip and fail to turn it in and automatically be excluded from the trip. Peter opted to go with that until Flash started talking. 

“Guess we finally get to see Parker get exposed for his lies,” he taunted.

That's right, if he didn't show up to the field trip, everyone would probably think he really was lying about the internship. He didn't want that. Flash calling him out was bad enough in causing some doubt among his peers, but even his teachers wouldn't believe him if he tried to skip the trip. Peter’s resolve broke and he sighed. He supposed he had no choice but to go now. 

 

He was grateful that he had friends like Ned and Michelle who didn't doubt for a second that his internship was real. Ned, because he knew about his secret alter ego, and Michelle, because... well, he wasn't entirely sure why she believed him but he appreciated her nonetheless. 

“So, you're worried that by going on this field trip,” Ned started slowly. “Your Spider-Man identity could be at risk?” 

“Yes, exactly!” Peter exclaimed, falling backwards onto his bedroom floor as he threw his hands out in exasperation. “And I like being Just Peter and Spider-Man separately. It's like, Peter Parker is the filler episodes and Spider-Man is the heavy plot. It's nice to have a break once in awhile, y'know?”

Ned took a moment to consider his analogy. “Okay, but you’re not like  _ Naruto  _ filler episodes right?” 

“No, of course not!” Peter said, offended. “More like  _ Dragonball _ .”

“Nice,” Ned nodded in approval. 

Then after a moment of silence, he asked: “Are the Avengers going to be there?” 

“What? No, they should all be at the compound. Hell, I don't even think Mr. Stark will be there,” he shrugged. “He's usually busy doing like, Avenger stuff, y'know? Plus Miss Potts runs the company now so if anyone is gonna be there, it's her.” 

“True, true. But that doesn't mean Mr. Stark  _ won't  _ be there. Maybe he’ll hear you're coming and pop in to say ‘hi,’” Ned suggested. “Wait, dude, I  _ hope  _ he does that. Can you imagine the look on Flash’s face if he did?”

“Don't be ridiculous, Ned. I’m just an intern, Mr. Stark wouldn't care that much to drop by,” Peter dismissed the thought with the wave of his hand. “And it'd be better if he didn't come anyway, lessens the chance of being exposed.” 

“Yeah, but you're just an intern  _ and  _ Spider-Man. You're an Avenger!” Ned encouraged. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “Let's just finish building the Millennium Falcon. Han Solo can't smuggle goods without his ship.”

“Remember when you had a crush on Han Solo?” 

“Shut up, Ned.” 

 

And then that fateful day came. 

Peter turned in his permission slip as did the rest of his class and they were all set to go on the trip. They filled the bus and Peter chose a seat in the middle, Ned sliding in next to him and Michelle sitting behind them. He could feel the excitement buzzing in the air but it didn't do much to improve his mood. 

His senses have been going off lately and he couldn't shake the bad vibes he was getting as they slowly approached the building. It was so bad, in fact, that he even wore his suit under his clothes, just in case. He only hoped that nothing would go wrong. 

“Hey, Penis!” Flash called from the other end of the bus. “How do you think Tony Stark is gonna feel when he finds out you've been lying about your internship the whole time?” 

Peter sighed. He just had to make it through this bus ride first. 

 

They made it. There it was. Stark Industries in all of its glory, right in front of them. He heard awed whispers among his peers and even though he's seen the tower so many times, it never ceased to amaze him. The group was hustled through the doors and into the lobby and the interior was just as grand as the exterior. It was like something straight out of a Sci-Fi film. A buff, balding man dressed in plain clothes stood waiting for them, a smile on his face. 

“Hello, Midtown!” he greeted cheerily, his deep voice not matching his tone at all. He looked like a viking. If vikings looked friendly and wore polo shirts. “My name is Joe. I’ll be your tour guide today.” 

Peter didn't know Joe, and Joe probably didn't know Peter, so for now, he felt safe. 

“Now before I pass out your badges, I must tell you that it is extremely important that you don't lose them. We don't make doubles so the one you get is the only one you'll ever have, so  _ please _ be careful with them,” Joe informed. “To tell you more about these things, it is important to know the different levels of clearance. The ones we have prepared for you are all level one badges, usually given to visitors like yourself. The numbers only go up to five. Level two clearance is usually used for special guests, only allowed in certain areas of the building. Level three is for interns and other staff such as myself. Level four are for those who have higher positions in the building such as department heads, even some of the Avengers are given this level clearance. And level five is the highest, given only to Mr. Stark, Miss Potts, and whoever else they think is necessary.”

It was clear that most of the students weren't interested in this information and were eager to just start the tour already. But Joe either ignored the fact or didn't notice altogether. 

“If everyone could line up please, I will call your name and hand you your badge.” 

It started with the A’s and moved down the list in alphabetical order until Joe got to the P’s, that's when things started to go downhill. 

“Peter Parker? Says here that you're already an employee at SI. You have your badge?” Joe said unsurely. 

Of course Peter had his badge, he knew the “no doubles” rule. He pulled it out from a pocket in his backpack and held it up for their tour guide to see. Joe seemed satisfied and moved on down the list. Peter let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and Ned nudged him with his elbow as the group started moving. 

“One at a time, please. We’re going to have to scan your badges to check your identities in with Mr. Stark's AI, FRIDAY,” Joe announced loudly, scanning first. 

“Joe Fridriksson, level three clearance,” a female voice said from seeming out of nowhere. 

The class was clearly intrigued by the presence of the AI and were all eager to scan themselves in as well. And so the line went. Peter pushed himself towards the end, trying to stall the scan as much as possible. He really didn't like this. But soon it was his turn. He hesitated, taking in everyone's expressions, glancing over Flash’s smug look. Peter breathed and scanned his badge. 

“Peter Parker, level five clearance,” said FRIDAY. “Welcome back, Peter. Shall I inform Boss of your arrival?”

“No, no, no,” Peter said quickly, cheeks already burning with embarrassment. “I’m here on a school trip, today.” 

“Very well, then.”

Yeah they were staring. Of course they were staring. It's what people do when they're surprised. They stare. Flash was the first to break the silence. 

“How does  _ Parker _ have level five clearance?!” he exclaimed in outrage. 

Joe was just as confused as everyone else. “I’m not sure, myself. But I doubt I have the authority to question that,” he said before composing himself. “Now that we’ve all been scanned, let's move on, shall we?”

This trip just keeps getting better and better. 

 

The whole Badge Incident wasn't entirely forgotten but it was put aside as they were introduced to the different areas within the building. They spent most of their time visiting labs. But in each lab there was always something different going on. First they'd be seeing some people doing some nanotech research, and then next there would be some engineers designing their own robots programmed to do all sorts of things. And after visiting a few more labs, they all took a lunch break in the cafeteria. 

May had packed him a PBJB, a peanut butter, jelly, and banana sandwich. He split it with Ned who had only thrown a bag of jelly beans into his bag before running out the door. 

“It's not too bad, right?” Ned commented as he bit into his half of the sandwich. 

“I dunno,” Peter sighed, as he dug around Ned’s jelly beans for a watermelon one. “I can't shake this bad feeling, like we’re all gonna be in danger real soon.”

“C’mon, man, maybe your spidey-senses are wack. Stark Tower has like the best security in the whole city, right?” 

“Yeah, but... you never know with these kinds of things, Ned. They always happen out of the blue. No one can really be prepared for them. It's like the attack on New York.”

Ned shrugged as he finished his bit of sandwich. Peter then felt the hair on the back of his neck stand and he quickly dodged a wad of paper that was close to bouncing off his head. Ah, shit, there goes his superhuman reflexes. He just hoped he was subtle enough not to attract too much attention. 

“Hey, Penis!” 

Goddammit. 

Peter lowered his head, determined to ignore it as he reached to collect more jelly beans from Ned’s bag. 

“Whose dick did you have to suck to get level five clearance? I bet you don't even know Tony Stark personally. You probably just hacked the AI, which is illegal, you know.”

It's just like the hiccups. If you ignore it, it'll go away. Just keep eating your jelly beans, Peter. Flash isn't worth a second of your time. And he was right. Eventually, Flash got bored of throwing insults at him when all he received was no reaction whatsoever. Peter sighed in relief. He was ready for this to be over. 

Their break ended with Joe announcing that they were heading to their next lab. The group reassembled and followed their guide down the corridor and towards an empty room with boxes of different objects sitting on different tables. 

“In here, everyone will be given a chance to apply what they learned in the other labs to invent their own creation! Depending on what is made, you can even take it home as a souvenir or leave it behind for Stark Industries to use as an example for future tour groups. So please feel free to help yourselves,” Joe said with a gesture, setting them free. 

Finally, something to take his mind off what could possibly be their impending doom. Peter, Ned, and Michelle gathered around the farthest table, pulling out whatever was in the box and discussing what they could build with it. 

“Has to be something simple, without special coding and stuff,” Peter said. 

“Why not? We have these cool Stark computers we could use to make like a robot or something,” Ned encouraged. 

“Yeah, but with the time we have, we probably wouldn't be able to do much except make it twitch. We need a quicker invention.” 

“Then why don't we just build a walking dude?” Michelle suggested. “With the brains of the two of you, making a robot walk probably wouldn't take too long.” 

Ned gave Peter an “I told you so” look before agreeing enthusiastically to her idea. Peter rolled his eyes but went with it anyway. As expected, it didn't take long for Ned to develop a code and for Peter to actually build the robot. They out two and two together and  _ voilà _ , their walking dude was done. 

“We need a better name than walking dude,” Peter decided as they watched the robot walk circles around their table. 

And then there was an explosion. 

 

The whole building shook and he could feel the balance start to shift as the building began to lean precariously to the right. His classmates screamed and held on to whatever they could as the building continued to shake. So this was what his bad feeling was. 

Soon, everything stopped shaking and it was quiet enough for Joe to address the group.

“Is everyone alright?” he asked and everyone nodded vigorously, looking terrified. 

Peter’s fingers twitched, anxious to see what kind of trouble decided to blow a hole in the side of Stark Tower. But there was too many people. He couldn't just change right then and there. But pretty soon he wouldn't be given an option as the door to their lab burst open, revealing some guy in a metal suit, almost resembling Iron Man. 

“Where is the Repulsor Tech?” the guy demanded, pointing a grenade launcher at them. But it couldn't have been a normal grenade launcher if it was strong enough to cause an explosion in the tower. 

Everyone was too shocked to answer. Peter had to do something before someone got hurt. It was clear that metal guy was getting impatient but didn't bother to repeat the question. He charged at them, grabbing Flash and blowing a hole in the wall. 

“Thanks for the hostage!” the guy said before jumping, Flash’s screams following them. 

_ Fucking hell _ . Without thinking, Peter jumped after them, throwing his backpack to Ned as he went. He didn't like Flash, he never had, but the guy didn't deserve this. He landed on top of the metal guy, causing them to swerve a little. Peter hastily pulled on his mask and fiddled with his webshooters to attach to the side of the building. 

“Brace yourselves!” he warned as he pulled hard on the web and they crashed through a window. Peter grabbed Flash and got him away from the metal guy just as the dude skid across the empty lab they landed in. 

“Get behind me,” Peter said, getting into a defensive position. It was then that he realized he was still wearing his normal clothes over his suit. 

“ _ Parker _ ?” Flash said in disbelief. 

Well shit. 

He had no time to explain because soon the metal guy got off the floor and pointed the grenade launcher at the two of them. Peter hastily shot a web grenade of his own at the guy and he was instantly covered in webs. Webs that apparently weren't strong enough to hold him down. The guy broke free easily and aimed his weapon at them again.

“Shoot shoot shoot!” Peter panicked, launching himself at the guy and kicking the weapon out of his hands. “Hey, mister, you play Fortnite? ‘cause everyone knows that grenade launchers suck. I mean, that's what I heard. I don't actually play Fortnite.”

Peter kicked the guy through the wall. “Where'd you get the suit from? Goodwill? It looks like Mr. Stark’s sorry leftovers. No offense, but full offense.” He pulled off one metal arm, revealing a human one underneath. “Oh dude, I think your shell is breaking. There's some white mushy stuff coming out, like a crab.” 

He dodged a grab from the other guy and tossed the arm aside. “You talk too much, asshole,” metal dude growled. 

Peter gasped mockingly. “You said a bad word! Captain America would disapprove,” he joked, crawling up the wall and launching himself at the guy again. This time, he was caught and he struggled in the guy’s grip. 

_ Fuck _ . 

Peter was thrown into the wall and he knew he was going to wake up the next day with bruises on his back that he will  _ not _ be happy about. “Alright, you asked for it, mister! Karen, switch to the taser thingies!” he said as he backflipped away from another grab. 

“Switching to Taser Webs,” his AI said. 

“Sorry about this!” he exclaimed as he shot the webs at the metal man and watched as the guy spasmed as electricity covered his entire body. As soon as Peter retracted his webs, the guy fell over with a loud  _ clunk _ ! 

Peter panted and shot a bunch of normal webs onto the guy to make sure he really was trapped. He then pulled off his mask and turned to Flash who was still standing inside the ruined lab with a gaping mouth. 

“Can you, uh, keep this a secret? Please?” 

That seemed to pull Flash from his daze. “What? No way! If I tell everyone that  _ you're  _ Spide-” 

“Tell everyone what?” 

Both Peter and Flash turned to see Iron Man flying in front of the open hole in the wall. “Mr. Stark!” Peter exclaimed, clearly surprised. “I, er...” 

“‘s okay, kid. Don't need to explain yourself. You did good saving your classmate here. And now he kinda owes you, so,” Iron Man flew down and as soon as he touched the floor, the suit opened and out came Tony Stark dressed in an expensive three piece suit. “What's your name again? Eugene, right?”

“It's Flash, sir,” he said nervously, clearly intimidated by the billionaire  _ and  _ well known Avenger approaching him with a scrutinizing gaze.

“Yeah, okay, so  _ Eugene _ ,” Tony continued. “You're going to keep quiet about the whole Spider-Man thing, and  _ I  _ will pretend that you didn't just try to expose my kid, as well as bully him  _ and _ call him a liar. His internship is very real and maybe if you had taken a moment to get your head out of your ass this whole thing wouldn't be an issue.”

Flash’s mouth opened and closed, imitating a fish. 

Peter decided that maybe this wasn't so bad after all. 

 

Their group were safely brought back down to the ground after Tony and his suits fixed up the damaged building, something that happened quickly thanks to all the snazzy science tech they had. 

The police apprehended the metal man and Tony gave all the credit to Spider-Man which made Peter slightly embarrassed. Peter wasn't let off that easy, however as he was reprimanded by his teacher for jumping out of the building and that if Spider-Man hadn't been there he could have  _ died _ . Peter apologized but then chatted excitedly to Ned about what had happened as his best friend returned his bag. 

“Hey, Pete,” Tony said, confronting him after he was released by the paramedics. “How do you feel about coming with me upstate? Thor is learning how to bake and I know you couldn't wanna miss that mess.” 

“Can I really?” Peter asked eagerly. 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll just ask your Aunt May to excuse you from school and we can head out right away.” 

So despite all the shit that's happened, Peter decided that it was all worth it because watching Thor bake really  _ was  _ something he was glad he didn't miss. 


End file.
